If She Can Do It...

I know you are anxious to learn some self-defense techniques, but I want to dedicate my first few posts to what I like to call the “self-defense mindset.” Believe it or not, your frame of mind has as much to do with your ability to defend yourself as your knowledge of technique. In fact, all the technique in the world will not save you if you are not mentally prepared to defend yourself.

There is a student at our school who is somewhat famous for her timidity and her tendency to scream during sparring matches. When she first started classes, she seemed strongly opposed to practicing, let along using, any of the techniques she was being taught. “I can’t do that” were some of her favorite words. It has been a couple of years now, and she has come a long way. Her screams are less frequent, and her memory and technique have improved ten-fold. But none of us really knew how far she had come until the day we first heard the story that would make its way around the school for weeks.

This student had, on earlier occasions, approached the senseis about a problem she was having at school. A bully was picking on her. We gave her tips; things she could try that would help her get rid of this guy without getting herself suspended. I think few people really imagined she would follow through on our advice.

One day the bully grabbed her from behind. Finally tired of the harassment, she reacted without thinking. She grabbed his hands, swung her foot behind his, pressed her hip into his, and stood up. As she shrugged his arms away from her, his feet came off the floor, and he ended up on his head in the middle of the hallway. (This is a favorite of mine, as it allows much smaller victims to drop large attackers to the ground, and it will be covered in a later post).

That was a turning point in that student’s training. She has now surpassed her siblings in our class and puts more effort and energy into everything she does. That sort of confidence is what martial arts is really about. It is about having the ability to defend yourself, but also about realizing that you are worth defending. All too often victims, women especially, suffer from the “I could never do that” syndrome. Their fear of hurting another person overrides their fear of being hurt themselves. I hear it again and again from women, young and old alike, who are just beginning karate. The other common phrase? “I can’t do that.” In order to defend yourself you must realize two things:

1.    You ARE capable of defending yourself, regardless of how strong an attacker is.

2.    You are WORTH defending. You did not ask to be attacked, and you must realize that your attacker means you serious harm. Are you more willing to lose your life, or to live with emotional and physical suffering, than to cause pain to an attacker? In many cases a simple resistance will force your attacker to back off. Chances are you won’t have to do any permanent damage. But you are the one that must decide what consequences you are willing to live with.

Another thing you must remember is that it is up to you to decide when it is appropriate to use self-defense techniques. You are the one that faces danger, and the only one who can determine how great that danger is. Regardless, please don’t hesitate to defend yourself if you are ever attacked. The most important thing is to respond immediately. Your life is valuable, and you can defend it!